gino.

totoo pala yun..

all roads in life lead to the dreaded “hanapbuhay”.

the lifeline of my childish-free-spirited-acts is getting thinner and thinner already. slowy, im beginning to feel embarassed about my lavish tambay life. being maingay and everything. pota! parang hindi na siya tumutugma! i feel all eyes are on me whenever i light up a stick in front of tita rose’s house. while enjoying that cigarette, im so sure i can feel the whispers the mommies produce with their chismosang utaks. “ano ba yang mga yan. ganyan na lang ba sila? pa-easy-easy lang ah. yung kapatid ko nung araw, pinag-aral ko.. blah blah blah” and of course they would end it with their heroic and respectable acts on how they saved themselves from poverty and the likes. pure bullshit. is it really accustomed for feeble-minded filipinos to judge? (hehe. how ironic.)

anyhow..

the thing is, i need money. we all do. ok. eh pano? “jan naman sila daddy eh..”. i know it sounds funny. at my age ba naman eh. tapos the fact that only now, i realize that it’s embarassing? hehe. masyado yatang nakulong sa pagiging dependent. stupid, but unintentional. oo, totoo yun! dependent sa parents ha? financially-wise. if there is such a word. im not blaming them or anyone. i just feel like its all coming a little late. yung maturity ba yun? im not sure eh..

ngayon naman maturity? i dunno the gauges of maturity. all i know is i already feel the hiya to myself when im not productive for the time being.

ok ok. i have a job. it sucks. no money involved. i believe it’s pure waste of time and yet, i still manage to stick my ass on it. bakit? ewan ko. nabulag siguro sa pera. “kala ko ba walang pera?”. deyn, sa mga susunod na projects. daw ha? at least, may ginagawa ako. at least, i feel the productivity my mind has to offer. ayos na siguro yun.

yun nga lang. walang goal.

+ iba iba iba +

just read some of the entries of bembang’s issue number 6. 2 of my classmates way back in elementary contributed. magagaling sumulat. kaso si inigo mortel, minsan hindi ko maintindihan kung ano gustong sabihin eh. teka. mahina lang ‘ata ulo ko. dito nakatambak musings nya.

AAAHH BEACH GUNDAMIT!!

posted on Sunday, February 20th, 2005 at 2:36 am and is filed under on bwiset, on life. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.